


Clarity

by mariuspunmercy



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Clone Wars, Denial of Feelings, F/F, Jedi, Minor Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Order 66, adora won't embrace her feelings someone help her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:27:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26483401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariuspunmercy/pseuds/mariuspunmercy
Summary: Adora just wants to be the best Jedi she can be during the Clone Wars, and that includes not forming attachments. She didn't think she'd have a problem with it.When she's with Catra, turns out she does.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 52





	Clarity

**Author's Note:**

> For reference: 
> 
> [Adora's lightsaber](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Plo_Koon%27s_lightsaber)  
> [Catra's lightsaber](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Kanan_Jarrus%27_lightsaber)  
> [Glimmer's lightsabers (yes she uses 2 you know im right)](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Ahsoka%27s_lightsabers)

Adora clipped her lightsaber to her belt and walked onto the landing platform. 

The cool metal of the hilt hit her thigh. Her cargo pants and white sleeveless shirt fit snug around her body, unlike the large cloak she had on over. She sighed and took a good look at the city around her. With the Clone Wars beginning, she knew it was only a matter of time before she and her master would be deployed from Etheria. The great capitol of the Republic, and her home. 

It still didn’t make her any happier. She loved Etheria. She loved waking up to the sun shining over the Jedi Temple, the sunset as she sat on a cargo crate and overlooked the sky. She had a lot of good memories here. 

There was a longing to stay, but of course, she knew she couldn’t. As a Padawan, one of the most important lessons her master had taught her was to stray from attachments. It was forbidden, of course, but there was always extra pressure to ensure it stayed that way. She never really understood that rule because at fifteen years old, she would think it’s okay to be kind of attached to the place she grew up in. 

But unfortunately, she couldn’t. The war had begun, and she was going to be fighting on the front lines. Still a Padawan, still a peacekeeper, but now also a soldier and general. She was going to be in charge of a battalion sooner than she’d be allowed to enter a cantina. 

Her lightsaber fell off her belt clip. She reached down to pick it up, then died from embarrassment when she heard laughter coming from behind her.

Catra was still laughing when they were finally face to face, and she didn’t even try to hide her amusement. Adora rolled her eyes, but it made Catra laugh even harder. 

“We don’t all have a two piece lightsaber that’s easy to carry, you know?” Adora teased when Catra had finally calmed down. 

“I know. At least you’re not Glimmer who fights with two separate sabers,” Catra said. She wiggled the two pieces of her hilt in both hands, and Adora marveled at the sight. One half was the main body, and the other was the emitter shroud. A two piece lightsaber, along with the fact that it was purple, made it a pretty unique saber for a pretty unique Padawan. 

“I’ll never understand how Glimmer uses two.” Adora unclipped her saber from her hip to show it off. It didn’t seem as special as a two pieced hilt, or Glimmer with two lightsabers, but she loved hers just as much. 

Ridges went along the base, and it curved up at the tip where the plasma came out. When she ignited it in battle, the sword shone a bright blue. She was proud of hers. It didn’t need any features or cool tricks. 

“Did you ever end up saying bye to Glimmer?” Catra asked. “She left like… an hour ago, so I don’t know if you got the chance.”

She shook her head, a little sad. “By the time I was out of training, she was already gone. From what I’ve heard, she went to some planet to protect Senator Bow or something.” 

They had less than an hour before Adora left. In fact, they only had about five minutes before she had to go. They knew it was necessary, and she needed to leave for everything that was good in the galaxy. But she was still sad about leaving her best friend. 

“I mean, the outer rim isn’t  _ that  _ far, right?” Catra tried. “Just because you’re deployed all the way over there doesn’t mean I can’t still see you sometimes, right?” 

Thing is: the outer rim  _ was  _ that far. She and her master, along with a couple of other Jedi, needed to get out there before the sieges began. They wanted to stop them before the Separatists started any huge campaigns. If that happened, then she’d never come back to Etheria. 

“I don’t know how long I’ll be gone for,” Adora admitted. “So it’s probably best we don’t try to think about visiting too much.” 

Catra’s smile fell. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s definitely best.”

Adora bumped her shoulder. “What’s wrong?” 

“I guess…” Catra’s shrugged. “All of my friends are leaving Etheria. Scorpia went two weeks ago, then Glimmer, and now you. I know you guys are gonna be fine, but-”

“Hey…” Adora grabbed her friend to hug her. Catra hissed, but the sound made both of them chuckle. Adora pulled away, trying not to cry. They were on a time limit, and nothing was going to be able to keep her here. “Nothing bad’s going to happen.” 

Catra held out her pinky. “Promise.”

“It won’t matter what the Separatists are going to do to us. Even if I’m gone, I look out for you, and I know you’ll look out for me. Nothing really bad can happen as long as we have each other.”

“You know, that sounds kind of like an attachment.”

Adora’s eyes widened, and Catra doubled over laughing. “I’m kidding!” She yelled, breathless. “I know you want to be this perfect Jedi and all, but chill out a bit. Nobody is going to die if you admit you’re a little attached to me.”

She shook her head, a little nervous now. “The only Padawans who admit they’re attached end up expelled from the Order.”

Catra rolled her eyes. “I was just kidding-”

“I have no attachments in my life.” 

“Adora, I was joking!” Catra shouted over her. “Jeez, if I’d known you were gonna get defensive, I would’ve saved my jokes for when you were already halfway to the Outer Rim.” 

“Hey, that’s not fair.” 

She was a little upset that Catra didn’t understand why she was uncomfortable. She was scared of leaving Etheria, and to leave Catra. She didn’t necessarily wanna go, but it was her duty as a Padawan to keep the peace, and that’s what she was doing. 

So yeah, she did get a little defensive. It didn’t have anything to do with Catra herself, but rather what she meant. Her master had said it was better they stay away from each other anyways. It would come as a huge blow if one of them were to fall in battle with the other so nearby. It’d probably be less painful to not be close when it happened.

If it  _ were  _ up to her though, she’d be taking Catra with her. Not because she’s attached, but because she wanted a friend with her. That’s  _ it.  _ Having only her master for company may not be the funnest thing, and it would make her feel better if she had someone else her age.

“I better get on the ship…” Adora rubbed the back of her neck, suddenly at a loss for words. 

Catra was too, because she rushed forward to tackle Adora into another hug. They didn’t talk, letting the hug say all the words for them. 

Adora whispered something into Catra’s neck; not a goodbye, but not a promise of return either, before she had to turn around and board the ship leaving for the Outer Rim.

* * *

“My master is going to kill me! My master is going to kill me, my master is going to kill me, my master is going to kill me!” Catra shouted. 

Adora hadn’t even gotten off the ship yet when she was greeted by her panicking friend. “Hello, it’s been a good four years and I’m doing fine. Thanks for asking?”

But Catra wasn’t listening, instead running her fingers through her hair. “It’s really good to see you too, but this reunion is gonna have to wait. I have a big problem.” 

Catra has a problem just as Adora is returning to Etheria without her master for a couple of days.  _ What perfect timing.  _ By the time she got off the ship’s gangplank, Catra was nearly in tears. 

This  _ was  _ the first time they were seeing each other in four years. She noticed she’d gotten a little taller than Catra, and that the other girl still refused to do her hair to appear presentable. Besides looking more mature, she was still exactly the same. 

But of course, this was all overshadowed by the fact that Catra was about five seconds from bursting out crying. 

“What’s going on?” Adora asked. “Because I am… confused.” 

Catra sighed, tucking her shaky hands under her arms. “I was on my way over here and I had to stop by the shop for something. You were landing when I realized I didn’t have my lightsaber body anymore. I just have the shroud.” She unclipped the shroud from her belt hook and held it out for her to see. “Someone must’ve pickpotted it from me, and-” 

“Okay, okay,” Adora grabbed her shoulders to steady her. “Okay. If it was some pickpocket, we can probably find him. Remember, the Force moves darkly around someone who’s guilty.” 

Catra nodded, her worried expression disappearing. “Alright. I’m cool with that.” 

Adora led Catra off of the landing pad, all the way until they were back on the streets of Etheria. It was nighttime, and the bright city lights were illuminating their way. She found a platform with a balcony that overlooked the streets, the people underneath her running around without a responsibility in the world. 

Here’s the facts: she is nineteen years old. She’s been in the Outer Rim for four years now. She’s still a Padawan, and her Padawan braid burned on her shoulder as a reminder. She’s just reunited with her other best friend, who also happens to still be a Padawan. Said best friend has lost her lightsaber, and instead of reuniting after four years apart, the first thing they’re doing is looking for the lost lightsaber. 

Catra leaned on the railing, looking down on the people. “I’m sorry. You probably had a long trip, and you want to rest.” 

Adora shook her head, smiling to herself. “You’re a little crazy, you know? I honestly didn’t think you’d care about losing your saber.”

“Are you kidding?” Catra scoffed. “Super cool laser sword that I’ve had since I was seven? I almost asked Glimmer if I could have one of hers.”

She understood. Their lightsabers were big parts of who they were. When they fought with them, it was like an extension of the arm. They held sentimental value; enough for someone like Catra to freak out about losing it.

Adora took a closer look at the city below her. There were more buildings, more vendors with shops set up. The people felt safer, the children got to run around. She couldn’t help but feel as if the Jedi truly were making things better. She fought the war for people like this. So maybe one day she could enjoy a view like this without the battle weighing heavy on her shoulders. 

“A lot’s changed,” Adora finally said. “I don’t remember people being out this much.” 

Catra smiled weakly. “It’s been like this for about a year now. But some stuff is never going to change. Like you being a major pain in my ass.”

Adora rolled her eyes playfully. “Yeah, because  _ I’m  _ the one who lost a part of my lightsaber and has to interrupt the reunion to get it back.”

“Oh, shut up. You know you love helping me.”

She looked away. “I do.” 

They were silent for a minute before Catra said, “You know, it’s been a pretty long couple years with only the  _ Chosen One  _ for company.” 

Adora laughed. They always teased Glimmer about being claimed as the Chosen One by the council. “I imagine that’s been fun.”   


“And the chancellor has gotten so… ugh!” Catra slumped on the railing. “I know I shouldn’t talk bad about Chancellor Light Spinner, but she’s been sending me on stupid missions.”

“Nothing is stupid,” Adora reminded. “Don’t forget, we’re here to help the common people. Plus, we still need to find out who the Sith lord is. Darth Weaver isn’t going to reveal herself.” 

“I know, but…” She inhaled loudly. “She’s been giving Glimmer and Scorpia all this attention, and you’re over here stopping campaigns in the Outer Rim. I guess I’ve just been feeling a little left out.”

“There’s plenty of stuff needed to do here in Etheria. You know you don’t need special assignments to help out. Everything we do is important.”

Catra took something out from her pocket: a fountain pen. “Here.” She tapped the pen against Adora’s wrist. “I know you couldn’t write a lot when you were out there, so I got you a pen… Don’t make this weird.” 

Catra’s fingertips touched hers when she took the pen. Adora held it gingerly in her hand, scared that if she held it too tight it might shatter. A smile ghosted on her lips, her reflection from the pen staring back at her. She glanced at Catra, then quickly looked away. 

No, it was nothing. It was just compassion. Compassion is essential to a Jedi and their morals, but attachment was not. What she was feeling; it was just nerves. She’s empathizing towards Catra over losing her lightsaber because she was buying a pen for her. That’s all it was. There’s no reason for her to be feeling nervous. 

“How long are you staying?” Catra asked.

“Four days.” 

Adora was at a loss of words. They stared at each other, Catra’s face illuminated in the city lights and  _ no. No, this isn’t allowed,  _ and she just got home _.  _ It’s just compassion. Compassion, compassion, compassion. 

“C’mon,” Adora moved away from the railing, gently placing the pen into her pants pocket. “We’ll catch up later. Let’s go find your lightsaber.” 

Catra walked besides her, and they continued their search through the city.

* * *

“Senator!” Glimmer called out to Senator Bow. “There’s a problem!”

Adora groaned as he walked into the medbay. Catra laughed at her, but she wasn’t laughing when Adora threw a wad of bandages straight at her head with barely any time to deflect. 

Senator Bow gasped when he saw the two Jedi banged up and bleeding. “What happened?” He demanded, sitting next to Catra on a gurney. “Was it the spies?”

“There was no spy!” Catra snapped. “The whole thing was a set up.”

Adora ducked her head as she cleaned a blaster wound on her forearm. The whole operation had been a bust. The original plan was for Bow and Glimmer to sneak into some swanky gala while Catra and Adora staked out on the roof for the spy they had received intel about. 

The plan had gone awry when battle droids showed up and ambushed them. The droids had gotten them pretty good, considering there were about a hundred of them and two newly appointed Jedi. By the time Bow and Glimmer realized what was happening on the roof, they had taken out the droids. 

But not without some injuries. 

Bow looked away as Catra pressed an ice pack to a blaster graze on her waist. She lifted her red long sleeve shirt and winced when the cold hit her. Adora had to look away so she wasn’t flat out staring. 

“How did they know we were coming?” Glimmer asked. 

“Someone must’ve tipped them off,” Adora grumbled, wrapping her wrist in gauze. “They only tried taking out me and Catra though. As soon as you two showed up, the droids that weren’t destroyed retreated. Almost like they weren’t trying to get you guys.” 

Bow cocked his head. “It would be pretty stupid of them to attack a senator.” 

“The war is coming to an end any day now though, let’s be honest,” Glimmer pointed out. “I don’t think they care about who’s committing war crimes or not.” 

Bow rubbed a hand over his face and stood. He walked up until he was at the doorway, when he turned around to face Glimmer and said, “Master Jedi, may I have a word?” 

“I don’t have the rank of master yet, but hopefully soon,” Glimmer said giddily. She walked with him, the two of them disappearing from sight. 

Adora shook her head as she watched them. “I’m worried about her. Something’s… off about them.”

Catra hissed quietly as if she didn’t want Adora to hear. But she caught onto it, turning to see Catra holding a disinfectant wipe to a cut on her forearm. 

Adora rolled her eyes. She glanced one more time at the doorway before hopping off the counter she was sitting on. She stopped in front of Catra’s gurney, holding her hand out. 

Catra just stared at her. “What?” 

“Give me the damn wipe,” Adora answered. Instead of waiting for a response, she took the wipe from Catra’s hand and grabbed her wrist, stretching the injured skin of her forearm in front of her.

“Just because you were knighted a Jedi a month before I was does  _ not  _ mean I can’t patch myself up,” Catra complained. 

“I know…” Adora shrugged, cleaning the blood. She didn’t say anything after, smiling to herself. 

Three months after her twenty-fifth birthday, she had been knighted as a Jedi. Catra followed soon after, but Glimmer beat them all. Chancellor Light Spinner made their friend a Jedi at nineteen, and they were still in awe of it. 

Sure, she hadn’t felt particularly different after her knighting. She hasn’t been a Padawan for six months now, and she held herself to a higher standard. Even when she was brought back to Etheria, she still made it a point to send her master care packages for other planets in the Outer Rim. 

Catra lifted a hand to Adora’s face, bringing her attention from her arm to her face. Adora stared, confused more than anything. Catra’s hand was shaking, and Adora let the wipe drop to the floor. 

“Your face looks fine,” Catra said as she examined Adora. “A few scratches here and there, but I think you’re okay.” 

Adora subtly moved back. “Well, thanks for looking.” 

Catra smiled tightly. “Yeah, always.”

They stayed silent for a moment before Catra asked, “Where do you think everything is going to go after the war ends?”

Adora shrugged. She’s thought about her life after the war a lot recently. With being stuck in Etheria for the better part of a couple months, she’s had a lot of time to think about it. “I think I’ll try getting a Padawan.” 

Catra smacked a hand against her forehead. “We can’t have two of you guys running around.”

Adora lightly hit her shoulder. “What are you gonna do?” 

Catra licked her lips. The Force moved around her nervously, and she wrung her hands in her lap. “I… don’t know.”

“You don’t?”

She shook her head. “I love the Jedi Order, and I’d probably love training a Padawan. But… there’s been something about it lately. We’re soldiers. We don’t keep the peace anymore.” 

“That’s just because of the war,” Adora tried. “It’ll get better at the end.”

“It’s not  _ just  _ that,” Catra sighed. “I don’t understand the code.”

They were moving into dangerous territory, and Adora knew it. “What do you mean? We’ve been practicing these ideals since we were younglings.”

“We’re not allowed to form attachments, but we’re also expected to be compassionate towards strangers and every person we meet.”

“Catra-”

“I’m not the only one who feels this way,” she interrupted. “General Entrapta thinks the code restricts us sometimes from doing what was necessary.” 

Adora understood. It was practically written in the Jedi code to question things, to try and learn more. But she also knew that, while this line of thinking may be encouraged, it was  _ not  _ a harmless topic. Not just for Catra, but Adora too. 

“Can you really tell me that you’ve never formed an attachment?” Catra lowered her voice. “What do you want, Adora?”

She was saved from answering when Glimmer ran into the room frantically, Bow following close behind her. “The chancellor!” She shouted. “Hordak has attacked the capitol in Etheria! Perfuma was sent for protection, but they’ve lost contact. We need to get our fleet there within the hour.” 

“What’s wrong with the chancellor?” Catra demanded, getting off of the gurney.

“Hordak has her. We’ve gotta go.  _ Now!”  _ Glimmer ran back out, Bow at her heels. 

Catra didn’t say anything else, and Adora tried to ignore the funny feeling that had settled in her stomach. 

* * *

The door slammed with a loud bang. 

Adora dropped her bag of food to the ground as she walked into the beat up hotel, shrugging the cloak from her face so she could finally see. She breathed quietly, as if in fear that someone would hear her and know she was a Jedi. That they’d know she wasn’t supposed to be alive. 

Catra stumbled out of the bathroom with a dagger, holding it threateningly. She lowered it slowly when she saw it was just Adora. “I heard you come in… didn’t know if it was you.”

She double checked that the blinds and curtains completely covered their window. “Just me,” she reassured, taking the cloak off.

“Anyone recognize you?” Catra asked, going back into the bathroom.

She ripped off all the wanted flyers about her. Order 66 had declared all Jedi as traitors, and they’d been scheduled for execution by the very same soldiers they’d fought with for years. The only reason she had survived was because she didn’t have any clones around her at the time the order was given. 

_ The fountain pen fell out of her pocket. She kept in on her at all times as a reminder of hope. She should’ve known. As the pen dropped into the lava underneath her and she stared up at her best friend full of hatred, she regretted not knowing how to help the other girl. She should’ve done something.  _

When she traveled back to the Jedi Temple with Catra, hoping to see some survivors, all they’d found out was that Glimmer had turned to the dark side. That she’d been manipulated by Light Spinner, who had been the secret Sith they’d been tracking down. 

_ Adora raised her lightsaber, keeping her balance steady on the rock she was on. “Glimmer, Chancellor Light Spinner is evil! She’s manipulating you!” _

_ “No one did anything when my mom died, or when my dad disappeared! Everyone told me I wasn’t supposed to be attached to them, and to ignore everything I felt! I went to Light Spinner for help, and she showed me the power I have!” Glimmer held one saber in each hand menacingly. “From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!”  _

The worst part was breaking the news to Bow. They’d secretly been married for a couple years now, and it devastated her when he died because of Glimmer’s downfall. She had dueled with Glimmer, anger and hurt by the betrayal leaving a permanent hole in her heart. 

_ “You were the Chosen One!” She screamed. “You were supposed to destroy the Sith, not join them!” _

_ Glimmer looked at her with fiery eyes, an uncontrollable rage taking over her features. Once best friends, practically siblings, torn apart by Darth Weaver and her evil intentions. “Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!” _

“The posters are still popping up,” Adora said, walking to the bathroom. She leaned on the doorway, Catra sitting on the edge of the tub. “What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to figure out how to cut my hair,” Catra raised the dagger. “It’s the best thing I could think of for a disguise.” 

_ “I hate you!” Glimmer screamed.  _

_ “You were like a sister to us!” She responded. “We loved you!”  _

“Want me to do it for you?” Adora offered. 

“You just came back from the market square. You should probably rest for a bit,” Catra said, leaning away slightly. 

“C’mon, just give me the damn knife.” 

Catra hesitantly handed it to her. Adora examined it with steady hands, rolling the hilt between her fingers. They had to stage their deaths after everything, and that included leaving their lightsabers on some random snow planet. They’d be uncovered eventually, and when they were, then Glimmer might think they were dead.

The only weapon they had left was a knife. They were once part of the great Jedi Order, and now they hid in a run down hotel just trying to stay alive. 

Catra swung her feet over into the tub, her back facing Adora. She ran her fingers through the soft hair, trying to untangle all the knots before hacking at the dark locks. 

She smiled at the way Catra leaned back into her. She reached forward and held her hand for a second, her forehead resting on the top of Catra’s head. She reveled in the warmth from the other girl’s body as the hotel’s busted AC blasted them with air that was too cold, not right.

“Just cut it,” Catra whispered. 

Adora scooted backwards, kneeling on the floor. She raised the knife up to just above Catra’s neck, letting her hand float there for a moment before cutting off the long hair in one drag. 

The hair fell into the bathtub at Catra’s feet. She stared at it as Adora came back up to sit next to Catra. They stared at the hair together, Catra’s hands coming up to feel where her mane used to be. Her hands went through air before reaching to touch the small tufts at the base of her neck. 

“This is it, huh…” Catra mumbled, settling her head on Adora’s shoulder. “This is our life now.”

“Not even a week in,” Adora thought out loud. “And we’ve lost everything.” 

There was no more Jedi to go to anymore. All of their hopes for the future were destroyed. Bow was dead, promising them that Glimmer still had some good in her.  _ Glimmer,  _ god, that was another mess… The Jedi hero turned Sith because of Darth Weaver’s exploitation on a girl who was supposed to be the best of them. There was so much left for everyone after the war, and it was ripped away. 

But Catra had stayed. 

“Maybe not everything...” Catra breathed. “We’re still looking out for each other, right?”

Adora held both her hands. “Right.” 

For just that moment, the grief had lifted off her shoulders as she carried it with Catra, and she saw a future for herself that she hadn’t recognized in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> i asked if anyone wanted to see this and some of you said yeah so hopefully i did star wars catradora justice. my favorite fics rn are ahsoka and rex after order 66 and how they cope so if anyone knows any good ones hand them over
> 
> (and yes i used my top 3 favorite star wars characters for the lightsabers. kanan always my favorite, then ahsoka and plo koon and i wanted them in this somehow so i fashioned the lightsabers after them. just a fun fact)
> 
> okay im actually in class as i post this so i should probably go but yeah i hope you guys liked this :D
> 
> vibe with me on tumblr: adoraang


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